The following inflight housekeeping message is brought to you by Captain Mal. And Jayne’s hat.

I’ve been doing some updating of the site that I wanted to bring to your attention. For the next few minutes, I ask that you turn your full attention to the Firefly crew as they demonstrate the new features of this blog. ~a.i.

Oops! Wrong transport.

Hello, ladies and gentlemen. This is Captain Malcolm Reynolds of the Serenity, Firefly-class spaceship and prematurely decommissioned Whedon-led production. Welcome aboard Alice’s blog!

Please remember not to tamper with the lavatory smoke detectors. 

Now, Alice tells us she’s noticing a lot of new readers ’round these parts lately, so first off, we wanted to say: Howdy to the newbies!

In fact, when Alice checked her stats today and saw the number of RLY EARLY posts y’all been reading (yknow, those ones she wrote in the first few months before she totally got her blogger-legs under her), at first she felt a bit:

But–just between us–we all know bloggers love it when people find a post interesting enough that they want to read more. So we’re pretty sure she’s feeling more:

AAAND… Moving right along to those features–

NEW PAGE #1: Words, Words, Words

Alice’s list of her MOST FAVORITEST QUOTATIONS OF ALL TIME EVER (at least, as of today) has gotten a facelift. Please check it out.

You might even leave a favorite quotation of your own, if you feel so inclined.

NEW PAGE #2: Say hello!

Alice also created a contact page for folks who might wanna say something to her without leaving a comment on a specific post. Or maybe you just wanna know where else she can be found online so you can bask in her brilliant commentary all day long.

Makes total sense.

I mean, her pins and posts bring that out in most of us.

And as a treat for all y’all that do stop on by the contact page, Alice wanted to leave you sumthin’ squee-worthy.

Like, say…

No. Not quite that much SQUEE.


No. Not that either.

Let’s just say, a Jayne’s-hat-level of squee. M’kay?

Feel free to give Alice my regards when you stop by.

We realize that you have choices when selecting a blog provider, and we want to thank you for choosing Coffee and a Blank Page.

Please check around your seat for any personal ideologies you may have brought on board with you–and please use caution when opening the overhead bins, as heavy thoughts may have shifted around during flight.

Stay shiny.

Keep flying.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog.

all gifs via

10 thoughts on “The following inflight housekeeping message is brought to you by Captain Mal. And Jayne’s hat.

  1. The womenfolk in my family sometimes say: “I’m totally going to hell, but I’ll be too busy shaking hands with all my friends when I arrive to really notice!” Love the Firefly gifs for ever and ever.

    And ever.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sorry, I know nothing of this Firefly of which you include in your update…however your creativity abounds and the newly updated pages get a thumbs up from me.


    1. I believe strongly in Giles the father, Mal the son, and Willow the (less than holy) ghost. And mother Joyce’s empanadas.

      (I’m also totally going to h-e-double hockeysticks for that remark, aren’t I. Like, the 24hr Fox News kind. With Bill O’Reilly wielding the pitchfork.)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, I too worship at the Church of Joss.

        All the interesting people go to hell. Heaven’s gotta be boring.

        I once got told by a hate preacher that I was going to hell because I was an uppity lesbian woman with a Baptist trick Bible. I’m not actually a lesbian, and I don’t have any idea what a Baptist trick Bible is (I was raised Methodist, for the record), but I still wear that condemnation with immense pride.

        But if you want hell on earth, one of the times I was hospitalized for UC, the guy in the room next door to me must’ve been completely deaf. He played Fox News on max volume ALL DAY LONG. After four days of that, I was REALLY glad when he got discharged.


        1. I’m disappointed you don’t know what a “trick bible” is — cuz I was totally gonna ask about that!

          The hospital thing, whew! That’s rough.


        2. Well, the comment came because he was quoting Bible verses out of context, so I brought my own Bible and would read the context for anything he quoted. He didn’t like that very much. So maybe a Baptist trick Bible is one where you didn’t cut out all the parts you didn’t like or couldn’t use to oppress people?

          One day, in the hospital, I half-jokingly told a nurse I was going to need more Dilaudid to deal with listening to Fox News constantly. She got him to turn it down a little, but once she left, it went right back up to max volume.


        3. Ahh, I see. So “context” = “tricky, sneaky, uppity–and probably also queer.” Gotcha.
          I bet your hate preacher and your deaf Fox dude woulda gotten along together SWELL.


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