Zeus Tries His Luck at Online Dating

Or: Even Ancient Deities Get the Blues

  1. Will you save me the choicest bits of meat when you sacrifice a calf
  2. Will you sacrifice your first born
  3. Will you swear to remain a virgin
  4. Or to become one
  5. Do you speak in tongues when you speak in prophecies
  6. Have you been a tree a bird a woman fleeing on foot
  7. Have you turned into stone
  8. If you had to choose a ravishing which would you choose
  9. A swan a bull a cascade of coins
  10. Hymen is the god of marriage
  11. Will you obey us
  12. Will you call us Father
  13. Will you call us Daddy
  14. Will you praise us
  15. Will you praise us
  16. Will you praise us
  17. Will you call it love

~e. alice isak

[Quick note for station identification after the jump. Hope you’ll join me!]

Critical — but only tangentially-related — aside: who on earth ARE these people still swiping right on OkCupid profiles during a fricking global pandemic?? It’s called SOCIAL DISTANCING, PEOPLE! NO I DO NOT WANT TO GRAB A CUPPA AND SWAP COMING-OUT STORIES.


Just give yourself a bad home haircut and learn to bake sourdough like a normal person, why don’tcha.

Much love to you, my faithful Internet friends! Please drop me a comment on how you’re doing, if you feel so inclined, or share your best-worst photo of your own #QuarantineCut or lastest baking adventure.

May we all come through this well, and may we all come through this together…

14 thoughts on “Zeus Tries His Luck at Online Dating

      1. Ah yes, that is so true. I made a ziti, chicken, and cheese and spaghetti sauce casserole the other day and it was such a nice solid unassuming dish, straightforward comfort food and full of familiar tastes.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I feel like anyone who picks this month to send a “nice to meet ya!” note, or whatever, in response to an online dating profile (like someone did to me this weekend!), that should earn ’em an automatic BLOCK from the system.


  1. I got my bad haircut a couple of months before the pandemic–I looked like an egg with a face drawn on it–so it’s only just now grown in. But hair aside, we’re okay still. Stay well, will you?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Glad to hear you’re still doing okay! Quarantine makes me a little squirrelly – but not yet so bad I’ve tried ripping down any yellow wallpaper to release a woman trapped in my walls.

      May just be a matter of time, of course? 🙂 But okay for now, here too, thanks. Be well.

      Liked by 2 people

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